Loretta had total confidence that she was going to sell out of racks this morning. Her first attempt at rack placement was in the Elizabeth area. "I live in the shelter around there, so my rack route needs to be close so my leg doesn't break" she says with loud laugh. She is one of the more successful Speak Up vendors. She regularly attends the Monday meetings and often brings a friend in tow.

Her first visit to her church was successful, but she cheerfully accepted rejection at the next place she went to. However on her last stop, she scored another successful placement. She came back to the car beaming with pride. "They took them all, one store told me to call the owner, but it's ok, because I don't have any more magazines."

No more magazines, what a great way to start the morning, praise be to God.

Kaitlyn Tokay volunteers with Speak Up as a "vendor mentor." She assists with training of Speak Up vendors and accompanies them onto the streets to provide real-time support and encouragement.

I watch the news as the tug-of-war over the national budget, which should have been resolved last year, struggles over their mutual loss that would be a government shutdown. Watching as each political side fights to win the award for best sound bite.

I have fear that the shutdown would impact the least of us more. That which some see as entitlement, I have to view as assistance with survival. I'm a part of the homeless community and I fight to keep my head above water, let alone climb a ladder.

To be a part of the community from the position I hold is more of a challenge than the average person would have knowledge. In fact, I often tell people that the most difficult part of homelessness is when you find someplace to live. That is when all social networks that you relied on to free you from streets, consider the task completed an offer you no more.

During that same time, your challenge will be to walk this tightrope, hoping no challenge will arise that will cause you to fall back into the abyss. I've seen many recycled back into the system. I think the system does not try to release me from this problem, but more assimilate me further.

I have to commend my church, Forest Hill, for creating a ministry to help people who have just moved from homelessness. However, these programs being new, my personal struggle has been in isolation and loneliness.

I've been in Charlotte for two years, spent about nine months on the streets and 1.25 years living in a room. My personal observations have me starving 25% to 40% of the time to make sure rent is paid. So much so that I have become accustomed to eating one small meal a day. This may be I dieters dream, but a problem when you have no choice.

No one has hired me in the last year, even with the broad range of knowledge and skills. These days, computerized applications seek specialist in everything. What ambition would I have had if I had been a dishwasher for the last 20 years? I have enrolled at CPCC, and challenged to maintain home until this two year achievement has been reached.

So I watch the arguments over budget, restricting unions, privatizing Medicare and try not to grow bitter nor angry. Try not to let negative consume me, because I still a job. Wishing my life was a little different, so I can get to be a good neighbor.

I would like to watch the news programs and their arguments of protecting the future, then be able to relate on the same perspective. I cannot afford the vision to look towards the future. I can barely afford to see past today.

How was it that night for some of our neighbors without a home? For those who didn't stay in a shelter? Avoidance of shelters is something we have learned is a common thing for some homeless. In speaking with some of these neighbors on Saturday, we asked what items they need the most right now. A consistent answer was “sleeping bags”.

Most of us have a sleeping bag in our house, right? Mine sits comfortably in my closet. I use it about once a month–which is actually above average usage for a sleeping bag owner. Imagine there being a need for that simple thing in your closet.

Some Charlotte friends are planning on distributing sleeping bags as soon as we can to our homeless neighbors who told us they have this need. We are going to gather up sleeping bags, whether new or used, and distribute them by the end of the month. Would you join us in this mission? You can do this by mailing or dropping off a sleeping bag (if used, please make sure it's good quality) to:

4326 Ruskin Drive
Charlotte, NC 28209

OR you can donate to our Charlotte Sleeping Bag fund. All funds will go towards buying good value for quality sleeping bags for our Charlotte neighbors.

For more details, email me at troyfelten@speakupmag.org.

Thanks for helping in this way.

Crystal Thomas

One morning while waiting for the Lynx to take me to the now defunct Reid’s Fine Foods for some ice cream, I noticed a young man trying to get my attention from across the rails. To the trained eye (or maybe I should say, the concerned eye) he had the telltale signs of homelessness. Worn shoes. Rumpled, slept-in clothing. Multiple bags stuffed to capacity and then some. I signaled him over to my side and, to my amusement, he proceeded with an unsuccessful pick- up line. After several failed cover stories he revealed that he was seventeen, a high school drop-out, and had left his home in South Carolina due to some family problems. He expected to find more opportunities in Charlotte but, instead became a new member of our city’s homeless population.

Where would most of us be without steady employment and affordable housing?

Many of us are simply the “currently housed homeless.” I ran this phrase past my mom because I live with my parents and I know they could never see me as a part of this group. But I am well aware that only a merciful, compassionate God and His provisions separate me from this label. Upon my release from federal prison after serving ten years of a twelve year sentence, I lived in transitional housing as a requirement of my release. I left prison with a lot of experience but little in the way of financial means. It was three months before I found employment and even with that I did not earn a true living wage. (Merriam -Webster Dictionary defines living wage as: “a wage sufficient to provide the necessities and comforts essential to an acceptable standard of living”) I do have some savings, though not enough

to sustain either financial independence or an acceptable standard of living. If not for my parents, who allow me to live rent-free, I could easily join the ranks of Charlotte’s homeless.

Who else is qualifies as the “currently housed homeless?” A man who scraped together enough money to pay first month’s rent and deposit and was just laid off. A teenager who finds herself staying in an abusive relationship just to have a place to stay. Anyone living paycheck to paycheck and sometimes ahead of their next one, with heavy interest looming. The family who moved to the city looking for opportunity but instead found low-paying jobs and a high cost of living. Anyone whose debt-income ratio is dangerously high.

My examples may land too close for comfort for some. Who really wants to look at the few steps that exist between our comfortable beds and welcoming homes and the ordeal of securing one of the 500 available beds on a nightly basis?

Photo: Keith Weston

So, what does this question reveal about someone who doesn’t have a house to be caught on fire, someone who is in a tough place in their life and can’t afford a place to live? Does it mean that they are insignificant or that they are on such a level that they don’t have priorities or things that mean a lot to them? Of course not. I think if we look beyond the surface of things and stuff, we would find that people without homes are people just like us, with memories, loved ones, priorities, and feelings. They are people created by a loving God, who struggle with sin just as we do. They just happen to have been dealt tougher life circumstances, but have so much potential to open their eyes to a world of grace and forgiveness from a God who loves them.

I love the Brandon Heath song, “Give Me Your Eyes.” The singer longs to be able to see the world through God’s eyes. When I think about how He would view the homeless, I have to think that it would be the same way as me, and that is loved, regardless of the things I’ve done or the things I own. [John 3:16] God loves all people the same and all people are created in His very own image [Gen. 1:27]. Humans are the ones who associate people into social class and assign worth to the value of lives, not God. To be honest, life’s most valuable and precious gift can be stored right in your heart, and that is Jesus Christ and the transforming power of His love and sacrifice for us.

So although the “house on fire” scenario makes for an interesting discussion, it overlooks the reality of life and the things that are really going to matter in the end of time. [1 John 2: 17] So I challenge you today to ask God to see the world through His eyes, and in doing so, I think you will find the space between the rich and the poor a mere mirage of this world in the eyes of the King. Ask Him to show you how you can help someone in need…a human who is just like you who just needs a little support. Like Anna, if we can look behind materialism, we will find that all any of us need is unconditional love and forgiveness from our Creator, and to share such love with the ones who are in need.

“Blessed are they who transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him.” Romans 4:7-8

As I have been preparing to begin a series focusing on homelessness amongst children in Charlotte, I have experienced a slew of emotions while being educated about the reality of the situation in my home city. So many stories and experiences jut out in my mind that I cannot wait to share. However, there is one in particular that has truly been tugging at my heart and mind for the past couple days.

At the conclusion of my tour of Birthday Blessings, a wonderful organization I will certainly soon be writing about, my attention was directed to a tack board in the main office filled with cards and other memorabilia, accumulated as a result of Birthday Blessings’ astounding work within the community. My eyes wandered to a handmade card with a message I have replayed countless times. The words were simple and sweet. The lesson was profound.

“I really joyed the love and attention showed.” – Love, Zakyra

Young Zakyra handmade this precious card to thank the Birthday Blessings Volunteers who gave her an unforgettable birthday party, cake, presents, and a fun filled day. However, it is clear that is not all Zakyra took away from the experience.  She honed in on the other gift the volunteers were able to give her; the gift of love.

As I drove away replaying those words, 1 Corinthians 13:13 came to mind. “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” I suddenly realized that while I had been so focused on learning how the tangible needs of the homeless children in Charlotte are being met, I had neglected to consider that maybe that is not their hearts greatest desire. What if the very thing each child yearns for most is something we can all give – love? I believe that it is possible the largest unmet need is that which goes unseen, the lack of “love and attention showed,” as sweet Zakyra would say.

After all, the Lord said the second greatest commandment of all, directly after loving God with all your heart, soul and mind, is “to love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22: 36-37).

So, I ask you, will you give the gift of love today?

Photo: bcostin

After spending most of my life doing the opposite, I now stop the car when I see homeless people.

I was driving through Charlotte having just dropped off a friend. Shortly before I let him out of the car, I asked, "What do homeless people need?" (He's qualified to answer this because he and his family had been homeless for five years, up until about a year ago.) He thought for a long time about my question. Then, "They need to really truly believe that God loves them. They need hope, and to know that they aren't alone."

This conversation was ringing in my head when I saw a guy with a "homeless, please help" sign. How could I not stop?  I gestured to him through the car window. He said he wanted some food, so I asked him to hop in.

"I'm Matt," I said.

"Hi Matt, I'm Steve," he said shaking my hand.

He suggested we go to a nearby a supermarket with a deli. He got a big sub sandwich cut into four pieces to eat later. He didn't want anything else, no water, soda or extra snacks. He wondered if I had a few dollars so he could get "something to drink" later on. I didn't.

As we walked back to the car, I talked about the street magazine we're trying to develop.

"I can't work, I'm disabled."

"You can work for Speak Up," I said.

When we were in the car, he looked at the business card I'd given him and then: "So this is what you're all about?"

I laughed, and told him that what I am "all about" seems to be something I need to figure out new each day. I told him that I'd experienced grace and that my perspective on everything in life had changed, and that was a big part of the reason I had picked him up; because when I was in need, I too had been picked up.

He told me he came from the Northeast, that his ma had died in 1988, his wife in 2001, and when that happened he'd lost it.

"You started drinking?" I asked.

Yes, he said, and he'd never been able to get out of it. The streets were terrible. He sleeps in a "little hole" and had been savagely beaten four times. His voice seemed so hopeless.  My mind returned to the conversation from an hour before.

"Like I said, I've experienced grace," I told him, "I've been blessed when I haven't deserved it. I can say this because I've known the undeserved love of God. Steve, no matter what you've experienced, no matter where you are at right now, God loves you too."

He was quiet after I said this.

As we neared his corner he said, "Excuse my French, but this is some good sh-t you've done for me. You know what, man, you're like a true friend to me. You almost made me cry. You're a true f—ing friend, a true friend." He gestured for me to stop the car. "Man, you're making me cry," he said. As he climbed out, thanking me, I could see tears pouring down his face.

As I drove south on I-77, unable to control my emotions, I understood something deep in my heart. Steve, that man who lives in a little hole, who sneaks around in fear of being beaten, who is so hopeless–that could be me. Because we're the same. We've brought exactly the same resources into this world as we'll bring out: nothing. I'm just a man. He's just a man. We both feel shame, longing and desire. We both love our mothers, hunger for community and long for love.

God forbid I ever forget.

There is a quote that I read about two years ago and it has never left me.  Even more so, this quote challenges me in a different way every time I read it.  I read it again today.  It comes from a story written about a girl and about hope from To Write Love on Her Arms:

"We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home."

I want to find practical ways to meet real needs.  I find myself constantly praying for God to show me what to do or to open up some door or opportunity.  More and more I hear God telling me; "I have shown you what to do, his name was Jesus and He loved people.  He didn't wait for some organization to hold a soup kitchen (which are great ministries), Jesus simply went to people, loved them, and helped them with what they really needed.  God never told any of us that this was going to be easy, but I have to believe God when he says that this is the best way.

One last thought:  There is a frost warning tonight.  The temperature is going to drop into the 30's here in Charlotte tonight.  I am thankful that I am writing this from the comfort of my heated home but I can't help to think about the thousands of people on the streets of Charlotte that are sleeping outside or the families that had to chose between paying a gas bill and feeding their family.  I think there are a lot of people out there like me who think about these things and, much like me, go to sleep.  Let's do something different.  Let's wake up in the morning and see what we can do.  Let's use these blogs and this community to share some ideas to start meeting some practical needs.

Photo: Perfect Sonnet

I love sitting out on my little apartment porch…I have some petunias and violets and there are lovely trees that soften the view of the garbage dump across the street. Sitting here this morning, there is a gentle breeze in the air. Quietly, I open my bible and my eyes fall to this passage…

“For this commandment which I command you today is not too difficult for you nor is it out of reach. It is not in heaven that you should say; who will go up to heaven for us to get it for us and make us hear it, that we may observe it? Nor is it beyond the sea, that you should say; who will cross the sea and get it for us and make us hear it, that we may observe it? BUT, the word is very near you, in your mouth and in your heart, that you may do it!” Deuteronomy 30; 11-14

I am cut to the heart as I read each word. And a memory floods into my mind…A memory of a peaceful evening a year ago, here on this same porch with my husband Owen. The atmosphere was full of crickets and fireflies and we seized the moment to take in the evening. We talked about all the things that we desire to do as a family…the things that had been stirring deep down in our hearts for a long time. “We could take the kids to a soup kitchen once a month to serve food to the poor. And, go to the nursing home up the street to read and sing to the widows. We could sponsor an orphan in Africa or someone who is persecuted in China.” Sitting here this morning, I realize that not much has come from our sincere intentions.

Yet strangely, instead of feeling guilt and shame and discouragement…I sense God washing over me and empowering me with His Word…filling me afresh with courage and compassion. I suddenly feel emboldened to declare, “Lord, You say I am equipped and able to live for Your Kingdom TODAY, right now, as a young mother of two…one more on the way, a clumsy wife…prone to mistakes. You say Your Word is very near me, in my mouth and in my heart…that I may do it!

“When did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison and come to You? The King will answer and say to them, “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.” Matthew 25:37-40

Photo: j03